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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Poor neglected blog, leave it up to 'Mother's Day' to get me to writing. So for all of you other mothers parenting a kiddo who has survived trauma, know that this lovely day that is intended to honor, spoil, lift up, pamper, appreciate...('ya know be thanked for all the stuff you do as mom that usually go unnoticed) we know this day usually brings out the 'ugly'. Often Mother's Day leaves mom feeling anything but 'loved'.

In a typical family (whatever that looks like) there are often moms whose hearts ache on this day too. There was a very wise friend who once told me "Expectations are premeditated disappointments" (READ IT AGAIN) I indeed hope/expect for my birthday and mother's day to be 'special' for whatever that means. I am blessed with an amazing husband who loves me dearly and at least 3 children who love being my child.....yet there is still a small, controlled expectation that on these 2 days I will be treated 'special'.

All that to say for the last 24 hours I have tried a new approach with our RADish, who likes to sabotage anyones special day. I have been giving her permission, encouraging, even giving her ideas on how to 'ruin' my mother's day. I know it is working a bit because I have received many shocked looks, a few smiles (like how did you know what I was thinking) and a lot less stick poking. Have things been great-by all means no. I had to leave church service with her this morning, she is being incredibly disrespecting full of eye rolls and hateful comments....yet my EXPECTATION was for the worst in her efforts in sabotaging the day. I expected to have her attempt in every way possible to ruin my day, so because my approach was different so was my attitude. I firmly agree with my wise friend- when your expectations are too high you are often sadly disappointed. However, when you expect the worst you are often surprised that its not that bad and are fully prepared for the worst therefor enjoy the 'not so bad'.

This Mother's Day I have armed myself with a positive attitude and have enjoyed the day-loved the little gifts/cards my children made for me. I have also made up some new words to a song just to remind myself and my Radish just how much I love her and am glad God has chosen me to be her forever Mommy. (maybe I'll post the song/lyrics for the next post sooner than a month) Hoping your Mother's Day has been full of blessings and your eyes/heart have been able to enjoy them :-)

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