Wow, silly worked! And worked well.
I leaned down in her bed to hug and kiss her goodnight like I do every night. Sometimes this is when she chooses to kick me or shove me. She had not laid down yet and hugged my arm. Seriously child....hugging my arm.....that is not how we hug in our family, nor has she ever done that before. I knew it was just one more stick poking thing she was trying to send me over the edge with. But I chose SILLY and said with a little giggle "Wow, that felt different.....I wonder how it would feel hugging my big toe?" and proceeded to bring my foot up on her bed. She laughed and said "Gross, why would I want to do that?" To which I responded with a big smile "I don't know, you seemed to enjoy hugging my arm instead of me...thought you might like hugging my big toe too"
She made eye contact, smiled and lunged toward my torso for a real hug. Doing a little nanny-nanny-boo-boo dance in my brain.
Blow up, fight, struggle....all gone. Left the room with smiles on both of our faces tonight as I closed her door. Rejoicing in the little things :-)